I haven't written in ages. I haven't had the time or even the desire. Things have changed-drastically and for the better. Jake is gone. The court date was yet again postponed because he won't go to mediation with me, but it is still happening. He hasn't been as bad this time; his mood swings have been fewer and further between, and he hasn't yet come out and said he was seeing anyone. That's okay, I haven't either. Technically I'm not, but I do have a friend that I find myself wildly attracted to. We've been out a couple of times, took our children to a movie together...I honestly enjoy spending time with said friend. We have real, honest conversation for hours, and are both very into music/artsy stuff. I at the very least have a fantastic new friend.
I've been making lots more new friends lately. I did get that promotion, so I've been workingworkingworking...that tends to happen when you become a salaried employee vs hourly. But outside of work, during the times when the kids are with their father and grandmother, I'm not sitting at home moping anymore. I'm out, whether it's at dinner, at the movies, at the park, or wherever. And I'm usually in very good company. I'm afraid to say too much here until the divorce is final, just in case Jake ever stumbles upon it.
I don't have long to write, but wanted to check in. Things are good. I still have bouts of loneliness, I have times where I really wish I had someone to hold me (particularly when I was terrified during the recent storms), I have financial freakouts...but on the whole, I'm very close to happy. I've lost weight, I'm wearing jeans I haven't worn in three years, I'm crocheting more (and getting paid for it!), I spend more time with the kids, I have more me time. Your thoughts and prayers have been immensely appreciated, as always. I just wanted to let you guys know they're working.
I love all of you. Hope to write again very very soon.
